It’s 2012 and we live in a society where an organization that receives tax-exempt status is allowed to spread blatant hatred and intolerance and indoctrinate our youth without worry. I generally try to stay away from anything related to the Catholic Church. My sordid history of questioning my own upbringing, education and eventual dismissal led me to look deep within myself.

The Star Tribune recently published an article exposing how the Archdiocese has chosen to educate it’s Catholic youth about the marriage and equality issue. Reporter, Jon Tevlin’s words stunned me, even after years of writing of the atrocities I’ve known. I wondered if Tevlin had to find inner peace before typing out the testimonials of those who were there.

“Most people got really upset,” said Bliss. “And comments about adopted kids, I found those to be really offensive. There were at least four kids there who are adopted.” Hannah, who is adopted, said one of the presenters said that adopted kids were “sociologically unstable.” She called the comments “hurtful” and comparisons between gay love and bestiality upsetting. (Star Tribune)

Here I sit, adopted and apparently, “sociologically unstable.” The fingers point as I raise my hand in a single parent solitude and here I go, not understanding that my daughter once again has to hear she is less and I am less and we are all are less for not fitting in the holy, black, box. This isn’t even touching on the LGBT community, because I feel that the Church has completely lost it’s mind and it’s way concerning the love and care for those around people I know- friends and neighbors and family members. NoH8MN was started by Jillian Hiscock and myself, for exactly this reason.

“I don’t write this for myself.  I can handle critics and those who believe that only two-parent families ‘give back’ adequately to our world.  I write this for HER, (my daughter).  I have more passion and more hope in me and my future than an unlimited number of two-parent families. Why?  Because the moment Ava was born, I knew we were destined for greatness.” (Seven, GirlmeetsGeek)

The Catholic Church supports adoption as a life choice when unintended pregnancy occurs. Why they would alienate the very children they claim to speak for with a hurtful label? In all their pro-life marches, they hold signs saying, “Adoption Matters,” and, “We Love All Children.” Do they truly love the, “sociologically unstable,” of us? Those whose mother’s, (like mine,) used Catholic Charities to place me in a home? Are they really pro-life at all? Additionally, you think the church would support single parents for the belief that since we chose to keep our children, (or raise someone else’s child,) that we were too, choosing life.

Leonard Cohen wrote a song many years ago. There are multiple beliefs in numerous cultures that state, once something is broken or different, the whole of everything becomes greater. Hatred and intolerance will never be overcome with violence or anger, this much I know. With each word I type, I’m carefully choosing to try and let it go but still give each thought the importance it craves.

To the Church, I may be “sociologically unstable,” for the mere reason that other people have chosen to adopt me, love me and nurture me into the human being I am today. Those two people who carried me in their arms, (though not their bodies,) sit at the pews of the Catholic Church weekly. I wonder, if the Church could tell my parents to their face that I am less because I am not of them? My blood is of no likeness to what flows in their veins and apparently, that matters to someone who wants to squish us down, until we think so little of ourselves that we are not worried about standing up for others, but rather re-building our own, fragile, egos.

The problem is, this all makes us stronger. As single parents and adopted children, we now have a responsibility to stand up for those bullied- especially in the LGBT community. We are all too big for their boxes, too vast with greatness and too cracked and full of light. Leonard Cohen said so.

“Ring the bells that still can bring. Forget your perfect offering. There is a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in. You can add up the parts but you won’t have the sum. You can strike up the march, there is no drum.  Every heart, every heart to love will come but like a refugee.” – Leonard Cohen