Recently, I unfriended someone I actually knew. They had been plaguing my timeline for years with updates on their drink of choice, (at 2pm,) and sob stories about how their life didn’t go as expected. I was often left awestruck by their sense of entitlement and complete lack of empathy for others. I couldn’t find their actual character in what was presented and when I dug deeper? I just saw someone scared, alone and really bitter.

When a work problem arose, I always assumed they called me first, but they probably didn’t. When relationship troubles came, I picked up the phone and said, “you’re right, you’re too good for that.” But in reality, I wondered if it was true. Their updates became the bain of my social network existence. When I pressed that holy ‘unfriend’ button, I suddenly felt like I had made the first rational decision in the ‘friendship’ to begin with.

I’ve been on an -unfriending- kick as of lately and nothing has ever felt this good. Knowing I had the power to let in and out of my life who I chose made me feel like a social network diety. I wondered how all my ‘connections’ had amassed to thousands of people that I wouldn’t want to have coffee with or pick up a call from at 1am. Wasn’t that the point of this all to begin with? Plus, it’s left me time to talk to and be with the people who I truly do love and support.

I know sometimes, others feel this way. Just the other day I was sitting across from a friend who said, “your health updates have been exhausting.” A little taken aback, but understanding I told her, ‘you should unfriend me.’ I think she thought I was kidding at first. When I said, “I’ll pick up the phone no matter what- Facebook doesn’t complete our relationship,”  she gave me a big hug and although she never went through with it, it showed we would be alright. Sometimes, that is all you need to know.

I’m different online than I am in person, but only slightly. I talk more business and I’m more positive than when spilling my guts out over a diet coke at a lunch place. Ultimately, I know that those relationships that truly are meant to last, are not defined by social media. And I’m not defined by my online connections, maybe a little better or sometimes a little irritated, but ultimately, I’m blessed by who I let in.