After a wonderfully-long and tumultuous existence, we bid farewell to a cluster of words that are over-used, misrepresented and often misguided. These words, ever-changing in the vocabulary of our daily lives have come to almost a complete halt in our online personas…. maybe, kinda.

Recently, on my private Facebook wall, I actually uttered a naughty word. For those that know me, I’m of the sort to publicly and privately try to make up many other words for the 4-letter-demons of our language. “Shut the front door,” being my favorite, I often try to express my anger and frustration in ridiculous sayings. Oh my ‘God,’ has become, “Oh My Cheese,” or, “Oh My GOODNESS!” (as my daughter often exclaims.) I never swear…that was, until yesterday.

One of my biggest idiocyncracies is my ability to open doors with my foot or pinky finger. Always afraid of germs, or because I listen too well to CDC guidelines, I often grab handles with one finger. Yesterday, I was leaving the bathroom and someone else was entering, as I opened the door, she startled me and I think I startled her, and she pushed the door all the way to the wall with me behind it, and proceeded to walk right in front of me. On her cell phone, she didn’t even notice when I dropped the floor upon realizing that my entire finger had gotten caught in the handle and had snapped completely back, ripping off the entirety of my nail. What came out of my mouth was a litany of pretend swear words and anger as she continued in the second door and left me literally in the dark between the two other doors. I held my floppy fingernail and ran into the bathroom to assess the damage. I’ll spare you the details, but what I saw stunned me. She was on the phone in the bathroom and said, “HEY! I’m on the phone in here. Be quiet!

Knowing there was something seriously wrong with my finger and grieving the loss of my nail, I didn’t know what to say. I wrapped the wound tightly and hovered in tears over the sink. She came out of the bathroom and had hung up by then and looked at me and told me I was, “rude” for being so loud while she was on the phone. I said simply, “I think you broke my finger.” She just walked out the door.

If social media is good for nothing else, it reminds me that I have a voice. Often what I should say in the moment, later is said online or with friends because for some reason or the other I don’t want to make a scene. A few minutes later, in arriving back at my desk, I took a picture of my finger. Idiosyncracy #2: I catalog my injuries, (because never having broken a bone, I’m spoiled. And, I like to look back and say, “..remember that time when…”)  And yesterday, I actually said the same famous word that countless artists have made money off of. Instead of saying, “She was a terrible person! Oh my goodness.” I coined Meredith Brooks’ hit in the 90′s and I uttered a famous phrase as I was trying to mock myself for complaining about a stupid nail.

I’ve been in board meetings, business meetings and watched others swear or curse without regret. My use of, “darn,” or, “gosh,” have landed me cute looks and often a smirk. I never felt I had to curse to fit in. It was in looking back on the famous word that I realized, I’ve all but phased out the non-pc from my vocabulary.  Frankly, sometimes, I miss it- the well-placed, “shoot!” or, ”poop” don’t feel as great as the normal equivalent. It’s strange when when we truly grow up, we no longer use words to shock or inform, but collaborate and develop. Here’s to the gosh-darnets’, the whoa-nellies’and the heck yes’ that dual-purposefully not only make fantastic band names, but great substitutes online on social media.

Giveaway Time…

Head on over to my facebook page to give your voice: Do you ever swear? If not, what’s your favorite pretend word of choice. Best answer wins a fantastic prize from my a recent promo item. Hint: It’s a very awesome Ipad Case/Holder.  Head on over: