It all starts with an egg. If you told me that at 25 I would be happily laboring over the birth of my daughter, I wouldn’t have understood the importance that it was THIS egg.
I sat up last night and wondered, what might have happened if it was another egg, or it was faulty and as my eyes began to well up, I realized: This child is the reason everything has dually been so difficult, and so, completely, wonderful. But sometimes, it feels as though it’s a daily transformation from what we once knew. There are moments when I feel I’m merely being rented…. my heart isn’t mine, it’s exploded into something unrecognizable, like a pregnant tummy. It houses so much more than I ever thought it could.
The thing about kids is: They peel away at you piece by piece. Because children and far more intelligent, brilliant and insightful than we give them credit for, because they find OUR moments of greatness in the strangest places. My daughter often tells me, “This is the BEST day!” When asking her why, I realize: all the BEST days usually have something in common- I Am THERE. If you ask any mother what she would trade for the ability to shower in peace again, she might just hand you a blank check. But faced with the loss, (even for a moment,) when we want our children near? That is an unrecoverable period of grief. Our children are an extension of US. We peel our old lives away, gladly for one more moment with sticky fingers or little faces.
So this is to every mother and every father. Long gone are the days where I can look at a mother’s day or father’s day and know it only applies one, solitary, tag. For all the single mothers I know today, I know the feeling of waking up alone this morning and going to work tomorrow to hear about how someone received breakfast in bed. I know how sometimes, it’s hard to hide the fear or frustration that it will NEVER be you. I know what it’s like after talking to a friend who is a single father and is ignored today; although he is ultimately a mother as well. This is for the military wives and mothers, those who have sacrificed and don’t properly get their dues or respect. This is for anyone touched by a caregiver, because Mother’s Day is so much larger than we ever imagined. Maybe no one has told you thank you today, so Ava and I say: Thank You.
This is for any parent or caregiver who has gotten their fingers stained in the role. This is for those that peeled away who they once were to become someone of strong character. This is for you.
(Love you Mom)
Happy Parent’s Day
“At work, you think of the children you have left at home. At home, you think of the work you’ve left unfinished. Such a struggle is unleashed within yourself. Your heart is rent.” - Golda Meir