Heavy hearts, sometimes make powerful entries.
Did you ever have someone you really enjoyed speaking to? @Care4Chris was someone on Twitter who always melted my heart with kind words or a witty saying. Tonight, a bit of that came crashing down when I had to decide to take down an earlier post because Chris’s past had, (rightly,) frustrated and angered many of my readers. (See Elisabeth’s recent explanation here: http://caringbridge.org/visit/care4chris)
Still: I can see the person I cared about behind the words. I want to believe that down, deep inside of each one of us is someone who is genuine, and good. There is so much good.
Have you ever looked at the sun and squinted? The brightness makes our eyes close to adjust to the rays. In the midst of a powerful moment, or pain, I always have to remind myself that squinting, or stepping back is exactly what my heart is trained for. We squint, ironically to see better.
This is my second time dealing with this lately. After a difficult breakup with someone I cared for, I saw another side of him I’d rather forget. The lightness that we were, was shadowed by darkness. Sometimes, a story or an individual, has a troubled past. What happens when that past comes out? Does it diminish the story, or reflect on the recent triumphs? Sometimes, all I want is to remember the goodness of the feast. That? Is the hardest part of all.
I miss both of them.
