I do PR for a few companies and in a recent email, a well-known Minneapolis, Mommyblogger asked for free swag for an upcoming conference. It wasn’t the ask that so much infuriated me. Though I can’t find anything good about knocking on someone’s door and asking for a free gift just because you are an ‘influencer,‘ but it was an underlying factor. What had me looking at the floor and wondering where manners have gone was the way the email was written. She knew nothing about the product she was asking for. She hadn’t done her homework and she decided just to clearly state, “People Know Me!,” as if that would be enough to get a significant amount of product to throw at her friends and attendees for an upcoming conference.
I’ve seen this at three other blogger events I attended. I once went home with a giant tin tub of Red Gold Tomato Products, which was wonderful until the products were happily in our tummies and all that was left was a tin, (that still resides on top of my closet.)
I started seeing in the other women bloggers I knew a heightened alert to anything that sat on a table. I imagined we were all programmed to look immediately, like children to the front counter to see if there was a sticker, or piece of candy. Someone at a blogger event once said, “I wonder what we’ll get to go home with, THIS time?” I realized then that like children on Christmas we had become programmed to expect, demand and receive. It dawned on me this afternoon as I came home from a recent conference with a plethora of goodies, that I really needed to think of a way of starting to say, “No Thanks!” I’m a minimalist at heart. Most things I get, (besides the gigantic RedGold tin,) have found a use in a marketing campaign, a new home with a friend, or happily donated.
Part of marketing, is asking. If we don’t ask, we can’t ever receive a sale, a network connection or a ‘yes‘ to any question that’s being asked. I readily admit this. But sometimes, we ask the wrong way and it can strike a nerve with others who are working just as hard, especially those that created the products.
Imagine you own a store, and in the current economy, your sales are hurting. Someone comes in flashes a business card and says, “I am an influencer!” Would you open your shelves to them to take as they wished? Most of us are incensed hearing about the swag bags for award events and charity galas for celebrities so why would we accept that those closest to us, who were exhibiting greedy behavior would be treated with any less disgust? Our entitlement is going to get us all into trouble.
If we are really influencers of the media, those that want us to broadcast our message about their product, swag or items will contact us directly. It’s the age-old lesson that actually providing QUALITY content, (not just photos of your children, or links to other people’s posts,) will garner the most attention. And? We really need to look at what we’re trading our opinions, or words for. If we simply do a giveaway without looking into the company, we might be surprised at what we DON’T know. This practice proves we are no better than someone who blindly accepts gifts without wondering their origin. These gifts or ‘giveaways’ partnered with website ads can directly influence our writing, whether we think so or not.
In all reality, giveaways heighten clicks. Contests have always been a crowd pleaser and it’s no different on the blogosphere. I have seen first hand the traffic from a giveaway compared to the traffic from a normal post. In my factual checking, (which I can thank a calculator for,) giveaway traffic heightened unique visits to 42%. But, look at the side of the blog- there’s no ads. I did very few ‘giveaways.’ When I was contacted and felt passionately about a cause or a person, I offered free space to broadcast the message. I once received gorgeous hair clips from Two Peas in A Pod, a giveaway we hosted several months back. I didn’t make a killing, because the entire point of my blog was to facilitate discussion.
I feel like a traitor. As a woman who has been blogging for over 7 years, I find it difficult to call out any other writers, (female or male,) for wrongdoing. But if something doesn’t happen soon, everyone’s credibility will be affected.
I like females and I like blogging, however it’s this demographic I’ve seen the most entitlist attitudes from. Those who lament about working and childcare, or the sweet things their children do are living out loud. There are even bloggers who speak on identity and marketing; the very things that make business personable and successful. I’m proud of them all. It’s important we acknowledge that for a long time, women weren’t supported online or in creating their own content. I’m incredibly proud to be a part of a community that helps lift other bloggers up and strengthens best practices.
We’ve become greedy, ravenous beasts for something as little as a book, a hairbow, or a necklace.
Events for Minneapolis bloggers are popping up all over the calendar. These are wonderful ways to share ideas, cultivate learning and support one another. However, I hope the reminder that greed is a color that looks good on no one, is highlighted most. I was incredibly dismayed to see the blogger’s name at the bottom of the email. There was no humble, no human and absolutely no gratitude in the post. It was, “Gimme. Gimme. Gimme.”
I think another blogger said it best:
“My blog is kind of my hallowed ground that allows me to express my own opinions whatever they may be on anything that I want. I’m not held back by advertiser relationships or post quotas. Also, it’s my extension of the consultant services that I provide. It’s all about getting paid because of my blog, not through it.” - @IamDez


“Our entitlement is going to get us all into trouble.”
That says it all. I love this post Kate and you have your fingers firmly on the pulse of the “interwebs”.
My Red Gold tin sits in my garage, and every time I see it I remember that I wanted to convert it to a planter for my patio and never got around to it. The best part about receiving it was the looks gained from other patrons in that restaurant as a long line of women paraded through carrying giant tomato adorned tins. I still laugh at the memory of that.
The swag deal is something I have never quite understood. I get a bit disconcerted when I am attending an event and everyone left and right of me is shoving items at me, trying to hand me bags of stuff, products I would never buy or use or coupons that are worthless. It doesn’t always resonate with me. Seeing these items scattered around my house, making a mess, does not make me wish to leap into my car and race off in search of more product, services or the like. Most of the time they’re just pitched in the recycle bin. Or worse, the trash. Or I try a sample of something that leaves me shrugging. And didn’t a recent BlogHer conference render a story about women fighting over swag? Are we really that desperate? Does any of it really matter? Do we attend events for swag, or do we go for the content pushed at us? The thought leaves me scratching my head. Over and over again.
Again, a thoughtful and well done post, Kate.
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Kudos to you for calling out materialistic b!tches.
Very counter to the internet culture and also to many (if not most) women, as they’re taught to find their identity in what they own and how they dress
good article.. I like your take on this subject. Although there are a few points I deviate on I think you did a great job purposing your perspective. Thanks…
I was at that event too and helped stuff those swag bags and thinking “why are they giving us all of this stuff and for what?” Our opinions? Our mentions? I am not ashamed to admit that I took my cute little swag bag home and my big red tin (which is on top of my kitchen cabinets, too!) and was just overwhelmed with a) the generosity of these companies and b) the responsibility that I now had to do right by this. I genuinely tried every product, checked out the websites of these companies and mentioned each company in my post about the event. I felt like each company deserved at least that in exchange for the donated product. And, I do that with each “swag bag” or free product I do get as a blogger. It’s my only way of making this universe right by what I receive from these corporations.
I’ve been to a few events since I started my blog and have left with ridiculous amounts of stuff and I do feel overwhelmed with it. I agree with your assertion that some people can get caught up in the excitement and have wide eyes at the possibility of a free this or that. But, I honestly dont think that is the norm, especially among the bloggers I know. I am heading to BlogHer next week, or swag bag heaven, by some accounts based on the amount of corporate sponsors and products given away. I’ll admit that I am just a little giddy at the thought of some of the purported free products that are being given to us. Does that make me a sellout? No. I dont think so. I think it makes me human. Not greedy. Greedy is NOT being appreciative of what was given to me and not “paying it forward” by passing the products to people who need it (e.g., baby products) and being respectful of the companies by discussing their products and what I liked (or didn’t like) about them. I am not going to BlogHer for the free product swag. Not at all. I am going to attend some amazing sessions on blogging and social media and to meet some amazing bloggers. The swag is well, swag. It’s stuff and if it appeals to me or someone I know, I’ll take it and say thank you. Otherwise, it will be donated to womens shelters or the like–BlogHer has already set that all up for us who want to donate unwanted stuff.
I am sorry you received an email asking for free products because “people know her!”. That has an incredibly high ICK factor and you have every right to call that person out. However, I really dont think most bloggers are like that. Truly.
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Such a great post.
I don’t feel bad when I receive swag. I think it’s smart on the companies’ part: bloggers are a cheap way to hit their key demographic. (And how many times have I been handed free products outside Target Center?) If I don’t want the swag, I leave it or pass it off. And I am with you. When I started blogging, I was eager to receive swag. Now it just clutters my house, so if it’s of no use, I just leave it where I got it. (And I don’t go to events for the swag; I go because there is something of interest, like networking or a glass of wine
.
That being said, if I solicit a company, then I do expect to “perform” for them. So in that regard I only go after products I know I like, and I try to exchange my time in writing/promoting for their product. Because my time is worth something, and I do feel that I am entitled to make a profit from my blog. It’s work.
And I have seen PR companies have just as unreasonable expectations for bloggers. I was invited to participate in a campaign, and when I said yes (in hindsight I should have asked exactly what that would have involved), I was asked to do way more than what I thought the product they were giving me was worth. And they were rude about it, but I do think when you enter into a partnership, the terms should be equal. Don’t send me $5 in products, and expect me to put in 20 hours of time. The math doesn’t work.
It’s all about relationships, I think – respect on both sides. And relationships are hard to form when one feels entitled.
Great post, Kate. You always make me think.
A very well known Minneapolis blogger (known more for her questionable ethics and financial/domestic misfortunes, sadly) sounds like she fits your description to a “T” in her greed. In fact, she’s having a garage sale today thru the weekend, and most of her items listed in her public Minneapolis Craigslist posting are items she was gifted with for doing product reviews in the “high end baby product” area.
What’s so sad is that her son, who had a very common heart defect (the same son who made her blog successful as sad as it may be) was treated at the Children’s Hospital in Minneapolis, and all of those high end items could be donated and in turn bless families of other sick children. Not this blogger, though. She likes to take all she can from anyone she can, but to give does not appear to be in her vocabulary.
Thank you for this story.
Shirley,
I tend to get a LOT of traffic about Mckmama. For a long time, I thought about posting something as I did an article about the situation several years ago. I try to stay out of the fray of both sides, for fear of being too vocal. I can tell you, the blogger wasn’t her, but someone else. I know it’s very hard, seeing someone do unethical or questionable things. I really appreciate you reading, reaching out and telling another story. I think, if we all tried to be more ethical, we could create an incredible existence for others. Thanks, Shirley!
I don’t know the blogger you reference, but unless you know her financial situation, you shouldn’t judge her so harshly for selling items she has received. We could all do a little more donating, but if an item is hers, regardless of how she got it, she should be able to do with it whatever she darn well pleases.
That high-end car-seat may be how she pays her light bill.
I don’t know what mommy-blogger you are talking about, but she likely spends hours and hours of her time on her blog. Should she not be reimbursed for her time every now and again? A free product is nothing compared to the thousands that companies spend on traditional advertising, so in reality everyone wins. The mommy-blogger gets a product they may not been able to afford otherwise, and the company gets the influential voice of that blogger online.
Being judgmental can be just as unfortunate as being entitled, imho.
I could not have said it better myself. Sadly, Mckmama changed everything about the way I blog and read others’ blogs. I believe very little about what I read anymore. There are just too many bloggers exploiting their children and cashing in, and it’s heartbreaking to watch. These children are going to have an enormous digital footprint before they even learn to use a computer! the ones who aren’t exploiting their children seem to be exploiting their readers both financially and emotionally. Anything for a buck seems to be the motto these days, and many bloggers, such as the one I mentioned, will do that at any cost. Even at the cost of their marriage and their pride. It’s like watching a trainwreck.
You’re one of the rare ethical bloggers left, and so I want to commend you on staying true to your values. You’ll be blogging long after the others have lost their audiences. Thank you so much!