Power in Transparency: Turning a difficult situation into a total win…

Great Business Starts With Great Listening

I think of the world of writing and business as a stage.  As much as we want to be front and center, alone with incredible talent, we sometimes find ourselves a part of the chorus.  Differentiating your business without pushing others out of the way is an incredibly difficult task.  I speak often about trying to bring other talented people, businesses and models with as you move forward.  Artists are protective of their work.  As a writer, I toil over my concepts and the strings of my vowels and punctuation like each sentence is alike to my own offspring.  I’m equally fierce when I feel that my hard work has been compromised.

I’d like to introduce you to Alexandra Franzen, a blogger in the Twin Cities who recently joined the ranks of freelancers focused on business and client branding.  After receiving numerous emails and a few phone calls asking if I was concerned about the similarities between our businesses, I reached out to Alexandra with hesitation to discuss our work models.  There were harsh words, sad words and after we each took some time, we decided we wanted to share the story of what happened and how we could remedy an emotional situation.  Alexandra saw the similarities, took some items down and eventually responded with a resounding, “YES!” to my idea that we speak openly about what happened and how transparency and honest conversations can help ANY business.

This woman, deserves a standing ovation.  Not because of what happened, rather because of how she handled it and her agreement to come out with me and say, “We learned from this and we are better for it.”

I didn’t jump quickly when a few people mentioned how Alex’s blog posts seemed to post about a month after my idea did, or that recent speaking engagements mirrored mine.  I made an excel spreadsheet of our ideas/blogs and speaking side by side.  It was then I knew I had to talk to her.  The following is a collaboration between Alexandra and myself in discussing the situation and how we remedied what could have caused a huge battle.  We’re proud of our happy ending, we think you will be too.

I thought it was incredibly empowering to be transparent about our situation and help other businesses learn from our mistakes and successes.  How can we grow if we don’t openly share our problems?

Alex: It was late on a Monday night, and I was re-fueling with an inappropriately-sized goblet of iced coffee. Settling into my seat, I flipped open my laptop to proofread a blog post and check a few e-mails. Business as usual.  My cell phone rang. I didn’t recognize the number, but the caller introduced herself as Kate-Madonna Hindes. My brain flipped back to the UnSummit conference a couple weeks earlier. Right! The media-savvy lady behind Girl Meets Geek! Neat!  I smiled, curious as to why she might be calling me.  My smile abruptly faded as she sternly announced the nature of her call.  I could hear the frustration in her voice — this was clearly not an easy phone call for her to make. I tried to form a coherent response. All I could think was, “but … but … I barely know you!”

Kate: I picked up the phone to call Alex several times and failed.  I had met her earlier at a speaking engagement for Minnebar and she came up to shake my hand and tell me what a great job I had done.  Spunky, and energetic, she lit up the room.  When she answered the phone, the words came out like a jumble.  I was angry, hurt and tried to keep a steady and respectful voice as the emotion built.  I took earlier advice from a mentor and explained, “if it doesn’t stop, I’ll have to look into legal action.”  Boom… silence, and soon- we were both tearful.

Alex: We concluded our call on a less-than-gleeful note. I felt attacked and confused.  She was disheartened and exhausted.  We agreed to reconnect the following day. In abject desolation, I turned to the second “Twilight” movie for comfort.  I later heard rumors about Ms. Hindes’ torrid affair with a bag of Milanos. We all do what we must.

Kate: Those that know me know that when frustrated, I automatically go into straight-line business mode.  I call it, “corporatejargonacidtripping.”  The milanos were a huge mistake. Lesson number one: Sometimes, no matter how hard it is, you have to step away from the situation and listen harder.  I’ve come to learn in my lifetime that listening? Is far too underrated. As business owners, we’re taught to shield our brand and reputation at all costs.  Listening, should always come before that.  Lesson learned.

Alex: The next morning, I awoke to an e-mail from Kate-Madonna, which clearly outlined her grievances and concerns. I could see why she was upset — we’re both resume designers, we both live in the Twin Cities, we’re both female entrepreneurs, we both maintain blogs, we both write about personal branding. And while our core missions are different, the overlaps — however unintentional — were undeniable. The crux of the issue?  She’s been in the freelance game for 8+ years, while I’m the new kid on the block.

Kate: I consulted with my business mentor, then about 13 people who I still owe dinner and or backrubs for the 10pm advice and insight, and decided that I needed to draft a respectful letter, detailing my concerns so she would have the ability to address them.  Several people looked over the letter for me, gave it a thumbs up and I sent it off- feeling the equality of a heavy weight being lifted and the placement of guilt.  Growing up as an Irish/Catholic girl,  we weren’t taught to cause any negativity or drama. We feel guilt for simply breathing.  I started realizing that although the simularities were there and undeniable, what Alex was after in her clientele was dramatically different than mine.  Only I never saw that on her blog or her business card.  I realized:  She wanted to serve a different clientèle but wasn’t making it clear.  I wanted to help.

Alex: The dialogue continued. Several phone calls and e-mail exchanges later, we pushed through to a place of mutual respect and understanding.  It wasn’t “fun,” but it was necessary. And whoa nelly, did I learn a few things about conflict resolution and safe writing practices.

Kate: I don’t believe that every story has a silver lining, but through chaos came understanding.  Alex took some columns down, added me as a footnote for a phrase I coined in one of her articles for a major paper and I tried to truly listen to what her goals were.  Transparency allowed me to look back at the situation and realize: Emotions and fear can cause more trouble than they are worth. It’s vitally important to talk, (and listen,) whenever problems come up between businesses.  After listening to Alex, I noticed that my network of people could really help her stretch her resume methodology to clients that she was specifically targeting.  I introduced her to a few businesses and friends from Twitter and she’s been having meetings and contacting others since.

Alex’s Lessons:

{ 1 } Before you hit “publish,” check to see what’s already out there, (big duh).  Even though I discovered Girl Meets Geek less than 3 weeks ago, the fact remains that Kate-Madonna has been writing about resumes longer than I’ve been a legal U.S. worker. My big mistake?  I should’ve done a more thorough investigation before I pumped my thoughts into the blogosphere.

{ 2 } Brand thyself carefully.  Kate-Madonna is a master social media strategist. I certainly ain’t. I didn’t think I was presenting myself as a Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter maven, but sometimes you’re too close to your own brand to wade through the murkiness.  I’ve realized I need to differentiate my skills, my services and my long-term mission – to provide resume support to people facing severe & unusual job-hunting obstacles – more cleanly, to prevent unintentional branding overlaps with established pros in similar fields.

{ 3 } Conflict doesn’t spell disaster. When I got the phonecall from Ms. Hindes, I never dreamed that less than 24 hours later we’d be collaborating on a blog post about the experience.  If you can stay respectful, focused and proactive, the most stomach-turning conflict can smooth out into an empowering partnership. As Kate-Madonna put it, there’s “power in transparency.” And you can quote HER on that!

Kate’s Lessons:

{ 1 } Protect with dignity. As business owners and brand ambassadors it’s vital to our success to make sure we are being credited where it’s due.  However, we also have to remember that our emotions should not rule over GOOD business.  When I called Alexandra, I should have been less cold and more concerned about hearing her side of the story.  It might have caused much less frustration from both sides.

{ 2 } There’s always room at the table.  Something I’ve always believed in was a concept that everyone in your network should want to remember you for your willingness to assist them.  It’s about a “bring them with you,” mentality.  What looks like competition may be exactly the opposite.  Once the emotions were settled I wanted to help support Alex’s mission and asked her to join me in a guest blog that could not only show businesses the potential in succeeding over complication, but that it could be JOY, getting to know someone close to your own work.

{ 3 } For the love of God, everyone is entirely too serious.  (Myself, included.) After talking with Alex, hearing friend’s views and finally sitting on everything said, I realized there was a huge loss happening and it was emotional: being frustrated and angry causes deep emotions and drains us.  I had to literally change my mind, ask Alex if we could salvage any sort of relationship and choose happiness.  She’s incredibly gracious and a great sport- so here we are, sharing what we’ve learned with YOU!

We hope you dig it.

Alexandra Franzen is a writer + editor + organization freak with a flair for quirky copy and queersavoir-faire. Her mission is to deliver rockstar resume resources to communities facing severe and unusual obstacles, including transgender workers, homeless individuals and political refugees. You can find her blogging about LGBT culture and civil rights, travel, style and assorted bits of hilarity at Unicorns for Socialism, and tweeting up a storm at @Alex_Franzen.

This is her smiling face: