I will love you and honor you, all the days of my life…

It was a beautiful summer afternoon.  The sun was shining in it’s glory and my optimism was at a prime.  He never got down on one knee and there was no champagne bottle waiting.  In fact, all my hopes that someone would play the guitar and Gavin Rossdale would magically appear out of the heavens and sing, “Glycerine,” with his 1996 slicked back hairstyle,  never happened either.  Somehow, when it’s right- no matter what you imagined earlier in your brain doesn’t really matter, at all.  It was quiet as the most important things in life always seem to be.  It was in that moment, when I saw the ring that I knew, for the first time in my life- this was long-awaited relationship I had so been looking for.

I’ll admit,  there was a hurried rush to the altar.  I had finally found what I wanted and by gosh, I wasn’t letting it go.  My vows were more complex, because I’ve come to understand that love isn’t magic or a series of miracles.  Love, was simply: a choice. In the rush of things I never put on a wedding dress although my sparkled white flip flops seemed appropriate enough.  I wondered why it wasn’t like this all the other times, why I never looked in the mirror and just KNEW how lucky I was.  I had taken so much for granted, and placed my happiness in far too many other hands.  As the ring slid on my finger, I mentally said:

I promise to finally put you first. To be good to you in body, heart and soul.  I promise to take you to see more sunrises, and enjoy each sunset.  I promise to help you take work less seriously and to spend the weekends outside instead of inside cleaning, organizing or otherwise making excuses.  I promise to remind you that life is short and no one is going to care if the kitchen floors are perfect, but the friend who desperately wants to have coffee, is.  I promise to take you everywhere you want to go, and remind you that any dream can become our goal, simply with a plan.  I promise to love you without your bikini body and right, front, toe that always manages to get caught in furniture, doors and anything with a sharp corner.  I promise to teach you, listen to you, and remind you that the voice inside should be heeded at all costs.  I promise that sometimes, it’s alright to say, ‘yes’ to the second helping of cake and ‘no,’ to the guilt that comes with believing you should criticize the one body that has brought you this far.  Until the end of our life together, I promise all this and more.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, without a big extravaganza, pretense or celebration, is how I got married.   To myself. The woman at the jewelry store smiled when she explained that the ring was vintage, a 1960′s heirloom and the diamond was nearly flawless.  I knew instantly- it was perfection.