Dear MommyBloggers,
As a blogger for over 8 years and former livejournal-extraordinare, (aka: before blogging was even cool,) I feel compelled to be your voice of reason and concern. This post started as I was gulping down pan fried-dumplings and hot tea with @IAmDez and the incredible frustration boiled to the surface as I spoke, “I really hate MommyBloggers.” If someone called me a “MomBlogger,” I might punch them square in the mouth. I started 4 years before my daughter, and my focus on the blog is not on cutesy photos, quaint delusions of marital grandeur or even recipes. In all reality, I’m somewhat the anti-mom, (despite the fact that I write my daughter love letters for the world to see.) Mommyblogger? I am not. Passionate, career-spokesperson, I try to be.
There still time, Mommies. You can look to the future and comment on world events, or matters of national importance. You can write on business, or passion, or anything but bedtime routines, teething and the evils of disposable diapers. It’s getting old. In fact? What’s even more tedious is that you live in a boxed existence where your life suddenly revolves around clicks and ad-revenue. You’re selling out for cleaning products and pop-up ads for toilet paper.
I’m in marketing. After spending nearly a decade in placement, design and target audiences I can explain to you: Companies have been WAITING for you so they could use your platform, photos of your children and otherwise lack of knowledge about what’s happening for their benefit. The moment you place an ad on your site is the moment you’re selling your content for pennies a click and although the extra-income is wonderful, start thinking about the consequences when people take you less-seriously and wonder why you coyly drop brands and wording.
Yes, your child is cute. In fact, I have yet to see a blog where a photo of a child doesn’t melt my heart and make my uterus jump across the room in protest that it’s currently in a GIGANTIC time-out. Some call it ‘objectification,’ but I somewhat disagree. In a few decades your offspring will feel loved and special that you wanted to categorize, tag and photograph every moment to it’s fullest. I understand the want to look back and feel the emotion as you did then, but this is the wrong way. I don’t see it as objectification, but rather: obsession. Does the universe need to know that after Junior bumped his head on your always, (Pottery Barn,) table, exactly how you managed to end a bout of his diarrhea with kisses from angels, I’m on the fence about. Poop jokes still get me, but then again- it’s almost midnight and I’m fueled on Cherry Coke and MommyJustice. Your babies are precious, and the stories are wonderful. The problem is: I know there’s more to you and when the evil MommyBlogging! revolution comes to an abrupt end and all you have is years of telling the world how unique and special your children are, you’ll realize: You’ve forgotten EVERYONE ELSE- like the entire, darn world. We get lost in our children, that much is true. Their smiles and triumphs create an incredible atmosphere of promise. The problem is: Our little ones are going to grow up, (quickly and without remorse.)
You are building a street that’s shined with the best of intentions but in reality, you’re shortchanging yourself. Forgetting WHO you are and continue to grow to be with or without your children is imperative for the survival of your blog. Heather Armstrong would not be successful without realizing that although her children were the most important facet of herself, she needed to broadcast who she still was, and would continue to be outside motherhood. There’s an entire world out there, and the more you convince yourself all that matters is what your baby has done, is exactly where you’ll lose other great parts of importance. H.R. directors and Recruiters will want to know that there is more substance to you than organic food and homeschooling, or private academies and veganism. They’ll want to see the courage you display in business, your passion for what you wanted to be when you grew up and most importantly: Who you are outside of your home and without children.
So here’s the ultimate question, MommyBloggers: WHO ARE YOU? Are you just a mom, who blogs- or are you a force to be reckoned with in business and life? Are you making a difference in the world, or simply sitting behind your computer and watching for revenue?
Stop. Selling. Out.
My greatest fear in all this is that you don’t realize the power you have. Women have only been writing under their own names for a century. You now have the presence and platform to discuss world change and politics, but it’s going unused. It’s time to stop snapping photos of every moment and ‘sponsoring’ ads for cleaning/national food products on your site. You’re being pigeonholed in the worst way and you’re accepting a one-dimensional life. It’s tragic, MommyBloggers.
It’s Mother’s Day: Remember who you are as a human being and the unique perspective and passions you bring to the world. The world doesn’t need another voice for consumerism: It needs a voice to create change. That’s the ultimate legacy for our children.
Marketers will always find another way to reach the masses, but we cannot find another YOU. It’s time to step out behind your computer, and the comfort of raving about your children and realize: There are so many facets of your personality left unexplored. Life is too short. They grow up too fast, and therein- lies the ultimate irony: All we have is the in-betweens.
*To my MommyBlogger friends: This was written with you in mind. I love watching your children grow, but I’m afraid I’m watching you fade. We become more by motherhood, not less. Please don’t forget.
I dislike the fact that you wrote such a good post in less than an hour. “It’s Mother’s Day: Remember who you are as a human being and the unique perspective and passion’s you bring to the world.” is very appropriate for the article and also timely.
First off, you are an amazing writer. I stay engaged with every word that you write. And I have a short attention span.
And I think you raise some interesting points. But I don’t see this behavior just in mommy bloggers. How many of us really raise our voice beyond what we know? I had mind-numbing conversations while in the work-force, and I’ve had mind-numbing conversations on the playground. But I’ve also had amazing conversations both places, too. I can’t read a blog (or have a conversation) just about diapers either, but I think we all get stuck at times. I know I did with our first.
Our world is what we know it to be. It was a shock when I stayed home with my children and my world closed in on me. Now I find it freeing. I can explore who I am and what I want in a way that I was never able to do in the professional world (let’s just say I’m not exactly cut out to be a CEO
, nor do I have the desire to be one). And I think I’ll emerge from this phase of my life stronger + more secure than I was before. (If I don’t get knocked up again first.)
As for the profit, again I think it takes time to figure that out. While I wouldn’t write for free (or change my message for an advertiser), I do want to find a way to monetize what I do. Because our blogs are worth something (as is our time + our writing), which is why marketers are tuning in.
Really good post. I spent about ten years (my thirties really) in the thick of pregnancy and mothering young children. Now that I’m fourty and my youngest is four, I’m having a renaissance of my own. I love my kids, but am rediscovering old passions and finding new ones every day. I’ve started writing (yes, a blog, but also a middle grade novel) and playing/singing in a garage band, among other things. These other “hobbies” keep me sane. I hope some day that my kids can say that I was a good mom, but that I also loved to do other things. In the meantime, my blog is helping me to become a better writer, and allows me to draw from my past life ,(as a scientist) while sharing ideas with other moms.
As for “mommy bloggers,” our society places value on people according to how much money they make. Any stay-at-home mom knows how good it feels to make a little cash, and I completely understand why women say yes to advertisers. I think blogging is teaching many women who are not MBAs a little bit about the world of business. Hopefully, we’ll all come out of the “Mommy Blogger” years a little wiser, and as much better writers than we were when we first started out.
This is an amazing post. I’ve been saying this for the past year or so, but I haven’t been able to say it so eloquently, I usually just randomly spout out, “I’m so sick of people and their kids!!” Mom’s (and Dad’s) need to realize they have a life outside parenting and not block themselves off from the world. I’ve seen parents of children off at college or older wondering what to do with their lives now since for so long everything centered around their kids and they had no hobbies, or interests of their own.
A good article Thank you!
Really good post. I spent about ten years (my thirties really) in the thick of pregnancy and mothering young children. Now that I’m fourty and my youngest is four, I’m having a renaissance of my own. I love my kids, but am rediscovering old passions and finding new ones every day. I’ve started writing (yes, a blog, but also a middle grade novel) and playing/singing in a garage band, among other things. These other “hobbies” keep me sane. I hope some day that my kids can say that I was a good mom, but that I also loved to do other things. In the meantime, my blog is helping me to become a better writer, and allows me to draw from my past life ,(as a scientist) while sharing ideas with other moms.
As for “mommy bloggers,” our society places value on people according to how much money they make. Any stay-at-home mom knows how good it feels to make a little cash, and I completely understand why women say yes to advertisers. I think blogging is teaching many women who are not MBAs a little bit about the world of business. Hopefully, we’ll all come out of the “Mommy Blogger” years a little wiser, and as much better writers than we were when we first started out.
Nice article. Thank you for this info