I like you and I like your blog…
They say, a blog is the window to the heart. We’ve become a world of online-voyers. Whether we’re looking at celebrity news online, watching reality television, or voraciously becoming involved in the lives of others; we are feasters on other’s demise and negativity. With the recent rise of blogging and online networking, who you bring to the blogsphere matters as much as protecting your brand. Mommybloggers, especially are a target for other women online and in message boards.
A BlogHer survey conducted by Compass Partners : 36.2 million American female Internet users actively participate in blogs every week. You get 15.1 million women publishing at least one post a week and 21.1 million reading and commenting at least weekly. (http://www.blogher.com/blogher-compass-partners-2008-social-media-benchmark-study-blogging-mainstream-reliable-fun-advice-a)
MckMama-Drama
Take for instance, a widely read blog by Jennifer, (aka: @Mckmama): www.mycharmingkids.net who blogs about her family, giveaways and her personal views on faith. With a cult following of thousands of page views daily and ad revenue that recently allowed her family to move to a larger home, there is also a rise in her criticism. An entire website dedicated to those who feel her blog is nothing more than a scandalous profiting scheme sprung up in February, 2010. http://mckmamawithoutpity.blogspot.com/ started as a message board for questioning the motive behind, MckMama and instead, has turned into an entire community of posters divulging personal information about Jennifer including; her husband’s assault arrests, numerous foreclosures and public tax information and liens. (See Here.) Entire twitter profiles have even been created to draw attention to the drama: http://twitter.com/suckitmckmama, which seems absolutely silly concerning the epic among of time spent on tweeting against one individual.
Most of their criticism seems to revolve around two key points: the fact that MckMama demands readers click multiple times within a page to heighten her count, (therefore expanding her payperclick profit.) When her fourth child, Stellan’s surgeries and the financial stress encompassing the family was featured after Jennifer had asked for, donations: financial and otherwise, to be sent to her account.** (Please see bottom of post.) ** Readers, fearing the worst, donated and prayed for her sick child, Stellan in hopes that their efforts could make a difference. After famously posting, http://twitpic.com/brnel many readers began to question the bravery or readership gain of a mother who was watching her son’s life fade before her eyes. Fox 9 News, (notorious for covering MckMama and Stellan,) recently posted a piece on a giveaway even linking to their readers: See Here.
I recently emailed MckMama to get her take about the story behind the giveaway, her blog and what she might say to those that don’t believe in her authenticity. Not happy that I mentioned I wanted to showcase both sides of the blogging story, Jennifer replied with this:
“I’d be thrilled to talk about Compassion and the initiative I’m doing on my blog with people, however I in no way want to be part of an article about stalking and dissention (sic). My policy is to not address or draw any attention to dissenters (sic) who are anonymous or hateful. I noticed a few of your recent Tweets, one of them even linking to such a site.”
It takes guts and determination to put one’s self out in the world for everyone to see. MckMama has my appreciation on behalf of all women bloggers, but also, some concern.
Readers or Profit?
Some call it ingenious, others call it less, most agree that a blog based soley in profit does not allow true authenticity to be revealed to it’s readers. As firm believer that blogging is like opening a window to your life I always state, the farther you open the window, the more wind you allow to enter. In either case, the first rule of successful blogging is to listen and humanize yourself to your audience.
Veteran bloggers, Suzi Magill of (www.pinkvanillacupcakes.com) and Mykl Roventine of, (http://www.myklroventine.com/) believe that the success of blogging lies within the connection from poster, to reader:
“My success isn’t based on revenue, it’s based on the interactions I get and the people I’ve met. My blog was never intended to be a source of revenue. I have a good job–this is just purely about my passion. The ads are just for fun…and maybe a pedicure.” (Suzi Magill)
“Blog “profit” for me is interaction. I measure success as being able to engage my readers and transform their experience into something more. That can mean they learn something new, take an active part in the conversation or get inspired to share it.” (Mykl Roventine)
Where does the line cross from friendly criticism to loss of personal safety and information? More importantly, do bloggers have the responsibility to fully disclose profits to their readers since the clicks distribute the wealth? I want to hear from you. In a world of rising mom blogs, does the outpouring of criticism and loss of personal freedom leave you concerned?
Melissa Summers, (@MelissaSummers) knows the issue of reader-trespassing, all too-well. Melissa is a well-known blogger from Royal Oak, MI, of www.suburbanbliss.net whose focus on the dark side of mommydom and the price of self-sacrifice has made her an easy target for readers across the nation. Melissa also has ads on her site. Summers is, “A frequent target of an out-pouring of criticism.” Summers continues to blog, “her way and with the grace and insight of a well-versed writer,” says a friend who is a regular reader.
“I don’t think she loves them the right way, in the way that the kids need,” says Michele McBee, a California blogger who has frequently attacked Summers.
Summers responded to a recent article about her anti-fans and had this to say, “It really makes me angry that somebody can be a bully and do this. There is a lot of anger about mom blogs and I haven’t really been able to understand why.” Summers speaks for most of us who are finding ourselves confused with the dark and seedy side of MomBlog readers.
Is it a case of the outside world trying to cause strife in order to fragment the mothers who “spend about $2 trillion annually” and reap in a whopping ad revenue to the tune of “$283 million on all blogs in 2007 and a projection of $746 million by 2012.” (http://www.blogher.com/big-mommy-watching?wrap=free-tagging/pooponpeeps&crumb=64563)
Perhaps it’s a case of, “One blog to ruin them all.”
There are moms, who drink and swear. Take my recent outing with my four year old that left my skirt swiftly slammed into my car door by five, tiny, helpful, fingertips. As her eyes glared at me when I said, “POOP!” (except it was more like NOT poop,) and her mouth reminded me, “That’s a MOM word.” Moms are not perfect, (as much as we try to fit ourselves into a mold,) we could never truly gain appreciation from all our readers. A while back, I posted, an article about my exhaustion over mothers who thought that drinking and swearing was hilarious, when referring to their children. See: Here. I acknowledged that I was perplexed at how calling your children, “little f*ckers,” might help your hits, or do anything but make the Britney Spears’ of the world rejoice. There’s a line- surely, there’s a line. Where it is? I’m not sure. I’m willing to testify to the fact that I have absolutely no idea about anything but the facts of the matter: emotions and mommydom are prime candidates for scathing blog reviews. Lisa Grimm, marketing communications manager at Action Selling, (www.communicationspassionista.com,) spoke to me about power of a compelling blog.
“If the value in content and discussion isn’t there, there will be no clicks. So, providing content to your readers that hits a node within their being and encourages and engages them to comment makes the blog successful enough to then profit from. There has to be full integrity in what I do and the choices I make. I’m not into making money on the Internet in that way, so it wouldn’t be for me, not do I really think it’s kosher.” (Lisa Grimm)
The point is this: We want our lives to be sensational- to draw others in with triumphs and moments of glorious clarity that far surpass those of kneeling-anxiety. Once we open our windows, the cracks seem to allow wind as well as dust; how far we open, however; is entirely up to us.
*An insane amount of thanks to Suzi Magill, (@Suzi_MN) whose wonderful insight drew me to the facts behind the issue and the heart under the surface of prominent MommyBlogs.*
**At 10:45 this evening, I received an email from Jennifer, (aka: MckMama.) She wanted to stress that she never asked for donations of any kind to go to her account. She stated the following:
I read your article. I never, ever, ever once asked for any donations. I ask you respectfully to please update your article with the correct information. Thank you! (MckMama)
Multiple sources claimed that Jennifer ‘hinted’ and claimed she needed money for Stellan’s medical bills and for the other children. After googling “Mckmama” and watching, “Mckmama drama,” come up I decided that no matter what Jennifer did or didn’t do, it wasn’t worth the anger that lay just beyond the google results. When we open a window to our readers we give them power to destroy or lift us up- it’s unfortunate the struggle of power that’s happening.
Discussions about Jennifer seeking gift cards are below:
http://mckmamawithoutpity.blogspot.com/2010/02/mwop-exclusive.html
http://theblogfrog.com/104191/forum/1433/update-from-mckmama’s-sister.html
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Kate-Madonna, Jen Knox. Jen Knox said: RT @girlmeetsgeek: The dark and seedy, scandalous and vibrant world of… MommyBlogs. http://bit.ly/GirlMeetsMommyBlogs [...]
I found this site on faves.com social bookmarking site. I liked it and gave you a fave! By the way I also loved your blog theme! Did you create it yourself or can I download it from somehwere?
Very interesting topic of conversation. Personally, I don’t begrudge anyone who has the ability to earn income from blogging. What a blessing. And a gift. As a reader, I think I take what I read with a grain of salt. It is my choice to be there as a reader and after reading a post I can use my own judgement on how to interpret such information. We all have free will. Subscribe, read, or not. I don’t listen to Howard Stern because I can’t stand him. This is the same. If you don’t like how someone “runs” their blog, don’t read. It’s that simple. I am happy that God blesses some with a talent for photography I enjoy, writing that encourages me and also makes me question, I am thankful for thought provoking conversation and challenges my thinking. In Jennifers defense, I think she does much more good than she’s given credit for. We are all human. The attacks on her and other bloggers are very mean spirited and wasteful. Just don’t patronize a site you don’t like. But if you make money off of my click, click, click – I’m happy for you, wish you well, and much success. It was my choice to click.
Trish, Amazing points. I was somewhat shocked by the emails, and information that people have been sending me, (before the blog went up.) I wanted to really get ‘down’ to the point and give both sides to the story. Who knew that the world of MommyBlogging had such a dark side? There’s an entirely new breed of reader right now, and I think we’ll see a change in the way blogs work.
The overall concern for me, wasn’t that, (yes- ads are annoying and I disagree,) but that other women are spending so much time attacking, and otherwise trying to disarm each other online. There’s fear in that: stalking, creating havoc and otherwise. It brings up the point that there will always be people who don’t agree- how you handle your readers, (remembering it’s them that helps make your profit,) is a key component to success.
Thank you for sharing!
I think Kate wrote an honest article on what happens when you put yourself out there and aren’t honest or are just targets of mean spirited people. Sadly, I think Jennifer McKinney is both. When you expose yourself that much to millions of people, you are bound to find a few critics and when you aren’t completely honest or are doing things that aren’t “above board” with your entire readership, you will be called on it. I genuinely wish people would leave Jennifer McKinney alone and let her live her life and raise her children in peace. However, she is a professional blogger now. Just like Dooce. Just like The Pioneer Woman. They all have “haters” and “hate sites”–it’s par for the course I guess when you become so popular. Dooce makes fun of it and basically says “bring it on”. You will never be liked by everyone.
I retweeted this article because I liked that it attempted to show both sides. For me, I personally love to read blogs that are honest. Honesty just seems to be something that someone can sense, even without proof. I don’t want to read a fantasy or collection of posts that seem contrived, which I have to say MckMama’s posts border on for me. Something seems ‘off’ and that’s my own personal feeling so please take that for what it is.
The author of this post refers to Dooce and SuburbanBliss which I read casually. There’s a different air there. They’re very honest, almost brutal. And it comes across as a very intimate conversation even though millions are reading. You can’t fake that and it seems many mom blogs try to do just that. It’s easy to spot, at least for me anyway.
People who notice that things seem sort of “off kilter” are going to say something. That’s sort of the price you have to pay for allowing people into your life. When so many people seem to notice the same things that are “off kilter” it raises a red flag for me anyway.
Thanks for this post because it brings to light what I think many moms are thinking. This whole dustup about the giveaway on McKMama’s site these past few days has me questioning many things. It doesn’t feel right to me. It seems like it was done for publicity and self-promotion, otherwise why not send all of the donors directly to the charity’s website instead of through a site that would profit from the visits? Most moms who blog themselves and know about ad networks and traffic techniques can see this for what it is I think.
I’m happy a charity earned some money, don’t get me wrong but it seems like a very confusing and planned way of siphoning off some advertising views. Sorry, that’s my own personal opinion as someone who has been in this “business” a long time. It’s not anything like how I would have done it, or the way my blogging friends would either.
Thanks for allowing me to comment, and thank you for opening up this conversation. It’s important!
Given the rapid pace of the cultural and technological developments that change the way our information is relayed, there are a lot of unknowns that still have to be worked out. Information relay and the exchange for access used to be simple – you’d put a quarter in the newspaper machine and out would come a paper. You knew you could trust the information and they knew that you’d paid for it. Pretty simply exchange.
Online profitability, be it with blogs or news sites, is still a mystery for most of the organizations that have attempted it (even the NY Times). This woman seems to have found a way to make money from her site (if what is said against her is true), but its legality of even ethical morality (in an online world) are still relatively unknown.
I think we are going to be seeing more of this type of thing. After all, the “rules” as such aren’t even written yet. Things seem to be changing so fast that writing them down seems pointless, as they will likely be obsolete by the time the ink dries.
This article tries to be level-minded, but it falls short. The reason MWOP was started is because Jennifer McKinney has never “walked the walk”, and when someone questioned something that contradicted the lifestyle she tried so hard to portray, she deleted their comment and blocked them from commenting again.
These could be small things from claiming to cloth diaper and giving advice on it (but having pictures taken by others to show her children in Pampers, or video by television crews with Huggies packages in the background) and being organic-eating, but commenting 4, 5, 6 times a week about eating out at McDonald’s and Chipotle, to much larger things like blogging about nannies and $900 strollers and brand new, half-million dollar homes while two other homes went into foreclosure in the 6 months’ prior, having a $52,000 tax lien and having vehicles reposessed.
Worse yet, exaggerating the condition her son was in, claiming doctors were attempting procedures that professionals *know* would not happen for someone in the state she claimed he was in.
Or claiming her child was so close to death that they called in the family, only for him to go home 24 hours later and then 2 days after THAT, she, her husband AND her three other children jetsetting from Minnesota to California for a five-day vacation, leaving the baby, who was near-death three days prior, in the care of…..well, no one knows that still, do they?
Jennifer isn’t attacked for not loving her kids the right way or because she makes money on her blog, she’s attacked for the big and little lies she tells and makes money from. Until Shaun Groves told her she had to stop blocking people, the without pity blog was the only place that called her on her lies. You should read the site and see the things they pick up on before calling it stalking and assuming it’s there to just divulge personal information. If it is there it’s there because she lied about it and the readers there caught it.
Jill,
Thanks for commenting!
I wanted to point out that Jennifer was never criticized for not loving her children, I think you meant, Melissa Summers. It’s frustrating when you have a voice that so wants to be heard- I understand that completely. I actually sourced Mckmamawithoutpity extensively, but had to be careful of writing what was ‘claimed’ and what was ‘proof.’ Although much ‘proof’ is given, I didn’t want to open myself for libel, or untrue journalism. I think you bring up excellent points that will certainly spark conversations for a while to come.
Cool…great to learn more about my absolute favorite superstar. Thanks for the helpful info. Excellent!
Hi! Appreciate the great post. Keep it up!
Great discussion. And I REALLY like that you practice what you preach. That’s when you can tell a post has come together.
].
And I’m also fascinated by how fresh you made the routine [admit it: what you just shared has been regurgitated millions of time.
Ben Johnson said people don’t need taught as much as they need reminding.
Good work.
Kate,
While I have been blogging for some time, and a follower of MckMama’s and other “controversial” bloggers, I am always amazed at what goes on “behind closed doors”. I read any blog with the knowledge that not everything is what it seems and that so many people will be so hateful.
While I do not agree with everything that MckMama or any other blogger has to say, it is not my business. Yes, I take the time to click and read. Yes, I spend time commenting most of the time. No, I don’t allow myself to fall into the world of each blogger. It is something that I found I would do if I allowed it, and each blogger only reveals so much.
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Cool…great to learn more about my absolute favorite superstar. Thanks for the helpful info. Excellent!
I’ve never read such a well-researched article on the subject. Really has me thinking.
This article tries to be level-minded, but it falls short. The reason MWOP was started is because Jennifer McKinney has never “walked the walk”, and when someone questioned something that contradicted the lifestyle she tried so hard to portray, she deleted their comment and blocked them from commenting again.
These could be small things from claiming to cloth diaper and giving advice on it (but having pictures taken by others to show her children in Pampers, or video by television crews with Huggies packages in the background) and being organic-eating, but commenting 4, 5, 6 times a week about eating out at McDonald’s and Chipotle, to much larger things like blogging about nannies and $900 strollers and brand new, half-million dollar homes while two other homes went into foreclosure in the 6 months’ prior, having a $52,000 tax lien and having vehicles reposessed.
Worse yet, exaggerating the condition her son was in, claiming doctors were attempting procedures that professionals *know* would not happen for someone in the state she claimed he was in.
Or claiming her child was so close to death that they called in the family, only for him to go home 24 hours later and then 2 days after THAT, she, her husband AND her three other children jetsetting from Minnesota to California for a five-day vacation, leaving the baby, who was near-death three days prior, in the care of…..well, no one knows that still, do they?
Jennifer isn’t attacked for not loving her kids the right way or because she makes money on her blog, she’s attacked for the big and little lies she tells and makes money from. Until Shaun Groves told her she had to stop blocking people, the without pity blog was the only place that called her on her lies. You should read the site and see the things they pick up on before calling it stalking and assuming it’s there to just divulge personal information. If it is there it’s there because she lied about it and the readers there caught it.
[...] have to be gentle. My post in early 2010 about Mckmama Drama and Bullies had me questioning blogging in general and the antics of bloggers and their communities of haters, [...]
It’s awesome to see my words taken out of context, and the reporter who interviewed me for the article was obviously was pro-Melissa so it’s clear to see why I come across that way. I hold in very high regard the role of mother. I also want children to have the most wonderful and joyous life possible. In a time where some blogging mothers share giving enema’s, tantrums (with picture and videos sometimes), play by play divorces, sexual escapes with the internet, I am very aware of what the kids can and will read about themselves and their parents private lives someday. Kids don’t need to read about mom giving dad blow jobs, or that their mothers think they’re broken, disappointing etc. So I took issue with this. That makes me a bully? I do want to say that I said eons ago that there was massive amount of drinking and dysfunction going on in that household, and lo and behold she came about and said as much on her blog, twitter and pretty much anywhere someone will listen. Wow, that’s not bullying that’s fortune telling. I felt like someone had to speak up for the kids, because sadly the mother’s themselves were so caught up in their fairy tale lives to see how their words will affect their children.
Michele,
As you know, I was not the reporter that interviewed you for this story. I merely quoted the other publication. That aside, I’m sorry to hear that the other reporter took your words out of context and glad you were able to put it right, a year and a half-after the fact. Why this article was written is I saw a view of bullying from all sides, (and we wonder where our children get it from.) It’s important that we keep the freedom of our speech, but realize the consequences of our words, both as a blogger and the anti-blogger sites.
Thanks!
I got this link for your blog in my google reader. I have NO idea why it took so long to show up. I’m all for free speech, but the article from the DFP was represented to me as a piece on how I feel about mombloggers over sharing. Instead she painted me as bully and saying things for the sake to just be mean. It’s been some time, and Melissa got even with me by posting my home address. Yeah, awesome huh. I agree that it’s important to realize that our words have consequences. Thank you for replying to me.
That’s google alerts for you, sometimes. I once got an alert from my high school website. (I think their robots sometimes get a little confused.) So sorry to hear that the bullying went both ways with Melissa. There is nothing like words being taken out of context. I hope you have a great Holiday season and I appreciate you stopping over.