I think if we are truly ready to listen: Our day to day activities have a lot to share with us. Experiment with me. You’ll need:
- A fantastic memory
- Something to write on
- To close all those other pesky tabs at the top of your screen that are calling out to be re-opened. Seriously.
I want you to write down what tasks you did today. Answer the following questions:
- What did you spend a lot of time on?
- What did you spend a lot of time on that you shouldn’t have?
- What did you forget that absolutely needed to be done and did it affect someone else- emotionally?
Look at your list. (Backwards and forwards, I want you to count the impact of your day.)
There’s only one really important question to answer: Why didn’t you do the things that needed to be done? Was it time, or perhaps an emotional barrier? Did you silently and inconspicuously put other things ahead of the things you hated doing most? If you did more of the ‘safe work’ or the ‘busy work’ to avoid the hard/problem solving work: This is just for you!
One underlying comment I hear more and more from those in transition is: “I just don’t have time to network.” With all the stress of a career transition, or a lifestyle change- it’s no wonder that networking looks like a waste of time. I always ask the same question that goes something like, “because networking accounts for over 75% of job offers and positive lifestyle changes, how do you really put a price on the incredible power of communicating with a circle that will go to bat for you with just about anyone?” Sometimes, I get strange looks.
Most of us will literally do everything possible to not have to do a task we hate; whether its communicating, organizing or even doing the dishes; we strive to always find something more important. Some things that don’t get done have no immediate impact. I have dishes in my sink that have sat for a few days. Since I’m in a verbal standoff with my dishwasher, they may sit for another day. Could I hand wash them? Sure- if I want to be selfish and disrupt the micro-organisms and universes that are growing by my pure laziness. Priorities, my people. I’d rather clean my floors, floss my teeth to shreds and heed the calling of any other activity to get out of the wretched, disgusting task. When will it become a priority? When the micro-organisms have made themselves a completely gorgeous home and my dishes look a little funky, (which could be quite some time- as I’m an avid pre-rinser.) The point? Find your Dish Washing: Find the one-thing you despise doing and stop waiting until it smells until you take note and remedy. Usually there’s a very, very good reason that the task keeps popping in your head and you find it absolutely soul-crushing. We make priorities, without ever writing them down.
Have you ever tried to prioritize a list of things you didn’t believe in? Everything is on a fight for the bottom line. Think about that: If each task you do demands the attention of being forgotten, how important really IS your impact? You might be in the wrong job, field or relationship.
I had an ex-boyfriend who would quite literally, prioritize his foursquare check-ins and twitter replies before replying to me. When I realized the gift that happened when I started to understand his priorities, it made it easier to stop fighting and stop demanding his priorities match mine. My priorities stemmed in communication, which might have been uncomfortable to him. His priorities hurt my soul, so reasonably- there was a complete and total stand-off. We lasted a few weeks, but as I really thought of the thing that confused me the most: Priorities. I often told him, “Do you want to be right, or do you want to be in a relationship.” I realized I had to ask myself the same, exact, question.
Did I want to be in a relationship where I had to fight to be a priority? (You can guess my answer.) Then I thought deeper: There are two types of priorities. Those of great importance: (Networking, Communicating, Innovation within my dishwasher to alleviate the sink-dish problem,) and those that really didn’t affect anything which were in all reality: the dishes in my sink.
I prioritize my tasks now as harder-easy. I find when I cross a large one off my list I’m even happier doing something I love. I’ll tell you the secret to it all: Life isn’t about wasting time on the meaningless and priority-less, it’s about facing our greatest dilemmas and being able to celebrate in the things we love.
