The bubonic plague got me again….

Sometimes, the biggest obstacles are not the ones you plan for. They hit you blindly- without warning on a Monday afternoon and before you know it- a shell of your former self is in the Emergency Room.

I think, “It’s good that I’m here for me- Ava is fine and regardless what happens there are no broken bones.” I cry at intake and I want to curl up. Convulsing with a 103.4 fever does that to a grown woman, I’m told. They wheel me into the room and I receive Zofran and pain medications and I vaguely remember the names because I wish I didn’t have to. (When I was pregnant with Ava, I had to come up with $25.00 for each pill of Zofran I wanted to take so that I could keep her healthy while dealing with hyperemesis. Pregnant without insurance after I lost my job almost cost me my daughter.)

For the past 2 weeks, I’ve been without insurance. Before then- I was able to get on state insurance while looking for a job. However, lately- because the job I found in which I make over 30k with only one dependant qualifies me for nothing in the 30 day waiting period for my new insurance to begin. And then- I just had to go get sick.

I went to work Monday morning and I felt tired the entire week before but I couldn’t escape the high of actually finding a job- something that I loved, even. I would be writing curriculum for workshops for other job seekers and making a difference that I could see. My difference wouldn’t be hidden in the red and shiny walls of my former existence in Corporate America. I left before noon and struggling to sit in my seat while driving home- I knew something was wrong. Why did every, single, muscle ache- it was as if I had gotten into an accident minutes prior. I came home and the pain became unbearable. My mother came and Derek came and they swept me off to the E.R. where I lamented about the bill and my shitty immune system’s inability to keep me out of debt.

That was 3 days ago. It’s 3:43 in the morning now, on Thursday and I’m not sure where the week has gone. I spent most in a Percocet/soup induced coma. (After learning I would be losing my insurance I refilled two prescriptions. I had this exact ‘bug’ about 2 months ago. They called it mono, then.) If I hadn’t done this without insurance my prescriptions would have been near $200.00. However, congratulating yourself over saving money and crying over not wanting to go in again collide- I can’t stop coughing. I remember taking some tylenol with codeine at about 10pm, and thought I’d fall asleep but I was completely and utterly awake. 11, then 12, and then 2 rolled around and the coughing started. They were little coughs- almost to clear my throat to make way for the complete idiocy of my lungs that would follow.

It’s 3:46 and most of the blood vessels around my eyes have busted from coughing so hard. I’ve tried hot tea, and lemon, and a warm shower, and sticking my head in the bathtub. Sitting up, laying down, throat spray, throat drops, cursing, crying and selling my soul so that my 4 year old wouldn’t wake up and think I was dying. I coughed so hard I’m proud to say that from sitting up in my bed- I puked about 15 feet to my dresser. Thank god all i’ve had was gaterade and soup because it now smells like a fruity, funky, jungle in here- instead of like throat-ass. I think that is the accomplishment of the week.

And I want to tell you- with all the underlying humor I’m trying for here, there is nothing funny about living without insurance. Even for 2 weeks. People do it for years- fearful of ‘accidents’ or snafus that could land them in bankruptcy court over bills they cannot afford to pay for inflated prices on medicine or surgeries- and while everyone else gets much richer, we get much, much, poorer.

My cough is keeping me up and I’ll probably try to go into work tomorrow. Afterall- this is our only income to live off of. I can’t afford another day off- and I certainly can’t afford to lose my home over a pesky virus, cough or anything remotely similar.

It’s 3:51 now and I can feel the pulled muscles in my stomach. I wish I could take something to help swallow- (I think I coughed out my soul.) Sadly with work in a mere 2 hours, there’ll be no painkillers for me. Plus- who knows. With my luck? I could be going through this in another week- racking up the bills and cursing our health-care system’s name.

It’s not okay that a 103 fever is going to cost me about $1200.00 plus 3 days of missed work. And it’s certainly not okay that a majority of my tears in the E.R.’s reception area were because I knew I couldn’t afford this bill or any prescriptions. At least at the E.R. they just bill you. Prescriptions require payment up front. From a magical place that doesn’t exist in my checking account with extra zeros, or decimal points. I figure I’d settle for old drugs and soup.

Maybe tomorrow, you’ll be sitting comfortable in your own bed- and you won’t feel touched because you have insurance and a savings account and you feel smarter because you’re able to do so. I applaud you. But in the meantime- read something. It’ll take maybe an hour or two of your time and you can get the plain facts about a Health-care Bill that Obama and Biden are trying desperately to pass. I tell you- that while I sit here and wish that things were different, I’m still blessed to know that I have a job and a way to pay the E.R. bill off little by little. There are families struggling with cancer and other diseases who are often told -NO- by their insurance companies and they are struggling just to keep their children and spouses alive.

There are dozens of people screaming about this bill because they are mis-informed and their ignorance is ruling their mouths. They are shouting at Senators who desperately want to get this point across: Healthcare should not be a right- it should be available to all.

Please open the .pdf, read and really think about what the bill states.  Print it out- take notes. Ask questions. We have such a power here to help those around us that we don’t have to hear stories anymore about Insurance companies rejecting patient’s procedures for being ‘too experimental’ or ‘not proven.’ We won’t have to fight to get insurance because of a pre-existing condition. Read it- Here.  Then? Spread the word. Spread the good and the bad and really educate those around you. There are 44 million Americansthat are uninsured- remember that number. Because that’s the number that you are benefiting from supporting Obama’s plan. When you’re done reading, watch www.sickforprofit.comand spread that message. Look at UnitedHealthcare’s CEO and what he makes compared to what he’s taking away. It’s a disgrace.

Maybe in the meantime you can send good thoughts my way. It’s 4am- I’ll be getting up for work in an hour or so. The day will start and I’ll be developing new lesson plans and new ways to teach people how to get back to work quicker.