For some of us, it’s the little victories- the ones that no one else notices and while we’re revelling in the accomplishment behind us, the world is still moving on- unaware and totally unprepared.
I took my daughter to the local fair by our house. She played in the inflatables and we shared a grape snowcone while watching the plant from Little Shop of Horrors sing ‘Soul Man’ during a karaoke contest on the main stage. (In full costume, no less.)
I watched her excitement and apprehension about going into plastic covered bouncing houses. She still asks me to go with her, and truthfully- if there were no rules about energetic parents entering, (and subsequently breaking said houses,) I’d already be jumping.
I did not spend one, single, second wishing we were something more ‘whole’ or ‘complete.’ Lately, I’ve just seen myself as her caregiver- not void, but completely successful and capable. I spent years bitter. Over the past 6 months or so- I’ve come into my own.
We were so totally in the moment, her and I. The love of my life jumped to the sky and I didn’t need to look to the bright side: I was already there.