Retailers of America that desperately want my money,
I think you need to desperately understand something. Something, that in fact- might change the way you view over half of the world’s population. Most women, despise Pink. We’ve been fed a ‘Mary Kay’ world since before we were born. Pink was predestined for us, just like blue was predestined for our penis-wielding counterparts. Can you imagine marketing ‘blue trucks!’ to anything you’re trying to advertise to the male population. I would absolutely pay to see a commercial that has men dressed in head-to-toe blue and aludes to three common themes: (just like nurseries: Sports, Animals, or Trucks!) So, quite honestly- WHY PINK?
I’m so sick of every commercial for medicine/yogurt/clothing- you name it, where women? Simply are shown around a table talking each other’s ear off, (in matching pastel outfits,) as if that’s the only way we receive or compute information today. Sure, our girlfriends are an important life-line. But, honey- there’s no way I’m trying a yogurt that makes me poop more because my best friend told me that her ass rocked the can on it. Why, is this so hard to understand?
I promise you: I’m not going to buy a computer, (<cough, cough> Dell,) because it’s tiny and purple and helps me ‘count calories.’ Seriously? Good god- you spend millions on an advertising budget and all you can come up with is a few girly laptop screen colors, and a few additional ‘skins’ and you call that progress for women’s technology? Know what I call progress for women’s technology? CHA-CHA. (You text Cha-Cha and any question/phone number/anything you need- for free and it irritates you with a weird response- then? BAM! You have your information.) Suddenly with a screaming toddler I can figure out where the nearest playplace is. Thankyougod.
I think it’s time you learned another secret: Women, are no different than men. For the niche you’re trying to please, (the ignorant, pink-obsessed, techno-idiots- who probably fail to even KNOW your site exists,) it’s not only a waste of shareholder value, you’re shedding important company credentials. Want to market to WOMEN? Make a product better than another product. Have me hear about it at a techxpo. Create something worthwhile, and suddenly- you don’t have to market for another niche- you create a niche, in itself. Did we realize we needed laptops? (A long time ago they were luxuries,) yet suddenly- my heart palpitates faster at the thought of not taking it with my most important pictures in a fire. What I’d do without my laptop? I don’t know. (Please, do not even get me started on my Ipod.)
Create it- then we’ll come to you.
I call it ‘yogurt’ advertising. Yogurts are constantly changing to fit our bowel-movement lifestyle. No one’s regular? They’ll fix it. We’re all stressed? (I guarantee there’s going to be a ‘de-stress with Dannon’ campaign coming soon. Ps: Dannon.. call me- let’s talk.) Yogurts are more concerned with being the new ‘fad’ than with actually tasting just like they are- decent. Fruit on the Bottom? Still kicks any yogurt ass out there- no pun intended. (Why don’t I buy it more? It’s higher in price and right now- I like cheap.) There’s your million-dollar-answer. What happens to fads? They fade- and just like pleather… no one wants that on their portfolio in 1o years. A small spike in sales- does not equal a lasting company.
So you want to market to women. (Good- we desperately want to see more commercials with women in the office, too- not just as secretaries or hard-hitting-stilletto-yielding-psychos- either.) Don’t tell us that ‘you can help us manage life and home. We’ve been doing that for ions. Don’t even tell us that you ‘get it.’ (Do you?) How about you quietly show us that you care and understand women. How many women are in high positions in your company? How’s your maternity leave or other H.R. policies? The best campaigns are the ones you live- openly, and with integrity.
We get two choices in today’s advertising. We get Ruffles or Satan in Black Pumps. We’re neither, really. You forget that a lot more husbands are staying home lately. We come in the door to man-made meals. We’re grateful and learning to balance everything together- man and woman-without you- or your product, (thankyouverymuch.) In the end? Prove it. Then you’ll have me. Because, really- why do I need to buy a yogurt I’m only going to poop out faster, anyway? Has no one got this?
