When your desires are strong enough, you will appear to possess super human powers to achieve. –Napoleon Hill
My new years resolution faded into my thoughts this morning as I reflected during the morning’s commute. Snowflakes began to tap the windows and it was as if I closed and opened my eyes, (months later,) to see where the pain and the progress had led me.
Last year, I wrote about a sore point in my life when James and I had broken up, and the dating life for a month or two was bleak and not filled to it’s usual quota. The sun wasn’t shining in it’s usual way- and if I remember correctly it was late winter and I was sick of the cold. I stood waiting for the bus one day with my usual group of 460’ers, and the majestic SW Transit buses drove up. These were the buses to be on. We all commented on it’s ‘newness,’ and it’s seating and the way the drivers always seemed happier than RoadRageHitler, (our own driver – as I so sweetly called her.) I vowed one day? I’d take that bus. Suddenly, the doors opened and this guy in thick plastic frames, with a fantastic smile waved. I looked behind me, (I actually did.) The lady next to me whispered, “he’s waving at you.” …..I died. From that day forward, we waved off and on- until life took me to
That’s what it’s about, I think. Not to live each moment like it’s your last- but prolong every connection. To do this, I had to let go of others, my emotions couldn’t handle the new if I still retained the old. I had to face the scariest thing I’ve ever faced – letting it all go.
That’s the beauty of a new year, isn’t it? There are no erasers for prior mishaps or drama, but there is the beauty of new beginnings. Something I’ve been studying within myself for some time, and something I believe I now possess. The most successful people seem to have knowledge about one thing in particular, (but an openness to many things.) I would like to be a SME, (for the non-corporate- Subject Matter Expert,) to one thing and one thing only. Myself. What if I became a famous writer, or a captivating teacher. I’d certainly need to know what I’m speaking about. And yes- I think like everyone, I somewhat want the fame that goes along with the new, or the unturned rocks of words- but… what I want more? Is knowledge of myself. My daughter will live longer than me, (I pray everyday,) and even being a SME on her, she’ll need to become her own SME, as we all do. Right now- instead of the fame or the fortune, or even finding someone else to possess, I’m becoming an expert on me; who I am and what I want to accomplish.
My new years resolution: I must make a positive difference- a connection, in every person I meet. This is incredibly easy to do- (only if done genuinely.) It’s a smile on the street, or a door opening. It’s inviting someone over that you talk to from 7:40 to 8:15. It’s pushing myself farther and farther, until with each connection I have- I feel the knowledge of opening up a different part of myself.
We are all doors. This is something I’m growing to recognize. We can chose to share what’s behind ourselves, or the rooms which are part of our exterior. Some people’s rooms are incredibly shallow and we find that it only takes a moment to walk around and assess the value. Others are incredibly deep, or scary, or light-hearted, and some? Feel like home. I like thinking of myself this way. I’m always reorganizing, redecorating, but the fundementals are the same. What would someone see if I opened my door to them?
My new years resolution: With each connection, a genuine heart. Someone of value, and grace and purpose. Everyone is looking for the meaning of life- but I think… that connection? That I always meet incredible people and find myself surrounded by the rarities of the world- those that wear their hearts proudly, (thank you Bre,) and those that inspire me, (thank you CW,) that’s it. My meaning. Of My life.
I found my mission statement at 27, after tireless breakups and broken dreams. With a mission statement only about who I want to become for myself? There’s no possibility for failure this year. I am blessed.
