You know what someone said to me today?
Happy Holidays.
I thought to myself… Happy-Mother-Freaking-Holidays? It’s November 12th. I just started wearing a heavier coat.. and socks. It’s even early for me to wear socks. How is it the holiday season? I haven’t even gotten Ave’s 3-year-pictures done yet. There’s no way Christmas is only a month and a half away.
I started thinking about what I wanted this year. I think as I’ve gotten older, and received more- and with the onset of a tiny human, I’ve amassed entirely too much. (Which of course does not mean I wouldn’t really like say, someone to pay my rent for a year,) but- as far as stuff is concerned.. I have kinda everything I need. Isn’t that cool?
When will I be able to say again- I have dishes to put food on, and toys in a special closet for Ava to play with. Hell- I have really, great, sheets on my bed, and my daughter has the prettiest toile butterflies that hang from her ceiling. We have laundry detergent and quarters. We even have a water filter.
I ponder things- because I’m not one who can sit-still for long, and because I’m also someone who thrives on shopping for killer deals, and making people scream when they open a package. This year, though- money is tighter than usual, and I wonder about the impact of my ideals instead of prettily-wrapped packages.
So? Maybe this will be my action Christmas. In the next month, (or so,) Can I get all the following done, (and gifted,) to let each person know that instead of handing them someone that was on sale, and as excited as I was… I wanted to hand them something bigger, instead? The presents I give this year- I want them to make you proud, and inspire you. I may still wrap up something, but it may not be from a store.
1. Visiting a home for the elderly. Spending an afternoon and handing out cards and hugs to those that might need it most. This will be for my Mom. I think she misses seeing Dorothea, (my ‘adopted’ grandma.) She used to go every Weds. And paint Dorothea’s nails. In her honor, I want to go visit, and listen and comfort.
2. Adopting a family. My sister is going through the year from hell. We hardly speak anymore, but since I’ve already bought the kiddos gifts, I’m going to adopt a single mom. I’m going to bake her cookies and clean her house, (if she’ll let me.)I even have a few gifts I’ve kept that could bring her joy. (Note: My sister returns everything I give her.) This will mean more.
3. I’m going to surprise my friend Rose. (Who doesn’t know this blog exists.) I’m going to go shovel her driveway and leave her notes. (She’s in
4. My dad’s present would be something I could never do. I know he wants me to go back to Church. I think he understands why, and he’s stopped asking about it. I wish I could give him that. I don’t know what I’ll do for him, yet. I know he wants me to be happy- spiritually, emotionally- (manlessly?) J. My dad has really been there for me lately. I wish I had an idea of what to do. (Do you?)
I won’t be doing SMS this year. (Single-Mom-Swap.) I’ve done it the past 3 Christmases- and although I loved delivering gifts and baskets—I’ve hated the feeling that people only wanted, and refused to give. I’m bowing out this year- and I’m going to focus on what I can truly do. I started SMS the month after I had Ava. I kept seeing people asking for help online, and I thought if I banded together a group- we could all do it. The group was awesome the first two years. Last year- everyone was busy- doing their own thing, and one of the houses I delivered to was having a cocktail party when I arrived with their gifts. They look sheepishly embarrassed and tried to explain that since, “x” was out of work, they just didn’t have the money. (Until I looked under the tree.) I could have bought myself something awesome with what I spent on their greedy asses- that killed my Christmas spirit.
So- it’s begun. Happy Holidays, to you too. If you have ideas of what else should be done- send me an email.
