Everyone’s trusting in the heart, like the heart don’t lie… -MB20
I’m on a quest for the truth. Me, my armor, my sword, and my misguided perceptions of what the truth really looks like. I’ll find the truth out of anyone- I’ll search for it like I’m in battle, like my life depends on it- like nothing else matters. Sometimes in fighting for the very things we want, we uncover the consequences of the conquest- our perceived truths, are now- coincidentally- reality.
I’m another soilder on the war of something that really, (in all reality) doesn’t matter. Because I have decided in the late, bitter years of my existance, I no longer want, “the truth.” I’ll happily live more in “pretend” world for awhile- a miserable, plaguing feeling that I can’t quite put my finger on- but at least- pretend is a softer cushion. It doesn’t break the bones when you fall- there’s really, no falling.
This is what I’m going to do. I’m going to duct tape pillows over the men I find. Their muffled cries and word will all remin to be, “You’re the best, I love you, forever.” And somehow- behind the fabric and stuffing- it’ll be meant. Or I’ll kill them.
No one means anything anymore they say. I love you, is actually, “I love you as long as we always agree and you always keep that figure, and you cater to me.” And a proposal is like this:
“I want to marry you, (if you promise me we’ll remain just as giggly happy as we are at this moment, when the rest of the world doubts everything, I’ll probably doubt it too- but not tell you until months in, when you can’t return the dress, and suddenly you’re like 3 for 3 and really- I just wanted the blow job perks,) so much, and I’ll love you, (see above,) forever! Let’s plan for forever, (a month,) and it’ll be swell, (hell,) because I love you so much, (see above.) Let’s get married! (I want to sleep with you without guilt, until the long conversations start, and I doubt myself.”)
…Was that too forward? I’m sorry.
She loves her momma’s lemonade
Hates the sounds that goodbyes make
She prays one day she’ll find someone to need her
She swears that there’s no difference between the lies and compliments
It’s all the same if everybody leaves her
And every magazine tells her she’s not good enough
The pictures that she sees makes her cry
She would change everything, everything, just ask her
Caught in the in between of beautiful disaster
She just needs someone to take her home
She’s giving boys what they want
Tries to act so nonchalant
Afraid to see that she’s lost her direction
She never stays the same for long
Assuming that she’ll get it wrong
Perfect only in her imperfection
She’s not a drama queen
She doesn’t wanna feel this way
Only 17 and tired, yeah
She would change everything for happy ever after
Caught in the in between of beautiful disaster
She just needs someone to take her home
She’s just the way she is
But no one’s told her that’s OK
She would change everything, everything, just ask her
Caught in the in between of beautiful disaster
She would change everything for happy ever after
Caught in the in between of beautiful disaster
She just needs someone to take her home
She just needs someone to take her home
