There are days like this, when you hang your head on your desk and think for a moment about walking out- down the stairs and flicking everything that everyone thinks you are… off.
I have big dreams- dreams that exceed farther than my job description. I have to continuously remind myself… this is the bottom layer- I’m laying groundwork- I’m not sealing my feet in the pavement.
I have the boss from hell. She’s noted as difficult to work for, and is equally on a powertrip in her Coach slingbacks, and bitchy with her Starbucks coffee. There are days that she’ll call me and explain in her kindergartener voice that my job, and only job at that moment- is to change the font scheme on a powerpoint presentation, because that’s certainly NOT HER JOB. Piss on the payscale people- it brings out the worst in all of us.
The worst part? I’m a glorified admin, (I’ll admit it.) -But isn’t most of corporate america? We are all peons for those above us. (Some of us even have to fetch dry-cleaning.) -Luckily I’m not of that brand.
So- I go from booking her travel, to putting together a financial presentation, to analyzing our data and being a CAD/VISIO heiress… but? GodDammit… I have the bug.
The bug usually hits me around month three, (weirdly it’s early on this one,) where I start to see the processes that could be simplified, or start getting more irritated at ignorant requests. I start pulling away and going into the corners of my own mind to dull out the aching pain of not being able to stand up and say…
I AM BRILLIANT, god dammit.
There are moments when elbow deep in everything that Bill Gates has created, that I wonder if I’ll be branded the happy, smiley girl who does what she’s told and receives her paycheck and nothing registers about my lofty ambitions.
I totally do not dig how people treat coworkers as their personal secretary, but for CoachStarbucks- I keep my mouth shut. (I heard the girl before me had WORDS with her.) I heard many stories about things being thrown and strangely- for the happy, shinypants environment we’re in? That makes me EXTRA giddy.
Corporate America is being spoonfed my soul… and I kinda hate it.